Redneck Olympics

[bassdog]

Redneck Olympics

 

10. Doves released during opening ceremonies are promptly shot by

the crowd and sold as concession snacks.

 

9. In an amazing coincidence, every proposed Olympic venue turns

out to be owned by the Governor.

 

8. The big event is the 100m Sisterchase.

 

7. Instead of shooting at boring targets, archers take aim at

muskrats and ATF agents.

 

6. Urine drug test transformed into "Distance Pissin

Competition."

 

5. Olympic Village replaced with Olympic Trailer Park.

 

4. Awards of gold, silver and bronze medals replaced by award of

gold, silver, and bronze teeth.

 

3. Opening Ceremony is a Skynyrd tape and a trunk full of bottle

rockets.

 

2. Hometown favorites falter in gymnastics competitions due to

all them extra toes.

 

1. Two words: Billy Bobsledding.

[General Lee 01]

Pretty good, but #4 needs to be changed.

 

Instead of Gold, Silver, And Bronze, the athletes recieve GM, Ford, and Dodge.

[Vortec5.3]

 

LOL

[Yont283]

[Guest Friz]

The real "Redneck Olympics" take place in Dublin, Ga. on July 4th weekend. They've been doing it for a few years now. Contests include;

Belly Flop

Belly Flop (mud)

Tobacco Spittin'

Pickled Pig's Feet Eatin'

Bar-B-Que (note here: in the South, Bar-B-Que, or BBQ, has to have BBQ sauce on it and it has to be pork. We do not "BBQ" steaks. We cook steaks on the grill. It's not the same thing.)

Pork Rind Eatin'

There are more, but I don't recall them. There is also a lot of beer involved.