don't mess with a woman

bassdog · April 22, 2002

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pick-up truck, causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder. This evidently ticked the driver off enough that he hung out his window, flashed her an obscene gesture and yelled at her!

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself as I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why.

I drive 38 miles each way every day to work, that's 76 miles.

Of these, 16 each way is bumper-to-bumper, most of this bumper-to-bumper driving is on an 8 lane highway. So if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 34 miles is not bumper to bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4,000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass everyday day. Statistically, half of these are driven by females, that's 18,000 female drivers.

In any given group of females 1 in 28 are having the worst day of the month. That's 642. According to Cosmopolitan magazine, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding, which leaves 449.

According to the National Institutes of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide, that's leaves 98. About 34% of all females describe men as their biggest problem, that's leaves 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past AT LEAST one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of the month, and is armed.

So -- no matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn't DREAM of flipping her off.