LoL

[Vortec5.3]

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he

glanced up and saw a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon

realized she was heading straight towards his seat. Lo and behold she

took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he

blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled and said,

"business, I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago."

He swallowed hard. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly

asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she

responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths

about sexuality." "Really" he smiled. "What myths are those?" "Well"

she

explained, "One popular myth is that African American men are the most

well endowed when in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most

likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that the French

men are the best lovers when actually it is the men of Jewish descent.

We have found that the best potential lovers in all categories is the

Southern Redneck." Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and

blushed.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with

you;

I don't even know your name." "Tonto," The man said. "Tonto Goldstein,

but my friends call me Bubba."

[General Lee 01]

.

We have found that the best potential lovers in all categories is the

Southern Redneck.

Wow, I didn't know you could use true statements in a joke.

[ClipperSkipper]

Subject: BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN

 

 

   6-7 lb. chicken

   1 cup melted butter

   1 cup stuffing

   1 cup uncooked popcorn salt/pepper to taste

 

   Follow directions carefully. Preheat oven to 350

   degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt

   and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn.

 

   Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the

   back of the oven. Listen for popping sounds. When

   the chicken's ass blows the oven door open and the

   chicken flies across the room, it is done.

 

   And, you thought I couldn't cook!

[ClipperSkipper]

While enroute from Boston to Toronto a blonde from

coach moved up to first class and sat down. The Lead

Flight Attendant working First Class explained to the blonde that "you have a coach ticket, you need to go back

and sit in coach". The blonde replied "I'm blonde, I'm pretty,

and I'm going to Toronto". The Lead Flight Attendant was

absolutely blown away so she went up to the Flight Deck

and asked the First Officer for assistance. The First Officer

explained to the blonde the fact that she held a coach

ticket and that she needs to go back and sit in coach.

The blonde replied " I'm blonde, I'm pretty,  and I'm going

to Toronto". The First Officer said fine, and walked back to

the Flight Deck, along with the Lead Flight Attendant.  

The Captain asked what was going on and both the First

Officer and Lead Flight Attendant explained that the blonde would not go back to her coach seat. The Captain gave the aircraft over to the First Officer and said "I'll take care of it".

With that the Captain walked back to the blonde and wispered in her ear and the blonde immediately got up

and moved back to coach. The Captain walked back to the Flight Deck and told both the Lead Flight Attendant and the First Officer that the blonde was now back in coach. They both asked the Captain at the same time "what did you say"? "Easy the Captain said, I speak blonde, I'm married to one, I told her that First Class doesn't land in Toronto"!