Jump to content

Joke Thread

diyer2

By diyer2
in The Off-Topic Bar

 Share

Recommended Posts

KARNUT Senior Enthusiast

KARNUT

Posted
Posted
41 minutes ago, customboss said:

Well, Well, Well: XXXXX Can’t Lower Egg Prices After All

Egg prices have hit an all-time high on the third day of the new presidency.

 

 

Donald Trump poses with groceries during a campaign speech at his Bedminster, New Jersey, club about rising food costs

Haven’t you heard? The new president on day one ordered new chickens after a large kill was ordered by the last administration. Causing a rise of egg prices. They tested positive for bird flu. Some speculate it was to clear the way for chickens from China. Fulfilling a promise from long ago as brokered by his son, Hunter. Trump cancel the order. Instead Elon Musk came up with electric chicken hybrids that lay multiple eggs a day. In about a week we’ll have so many eggs they’ll be 1$ a dozen. Causing the recently purchased Chinese egg farms in the USA to go broke. Next up cows that don’t fart. Lowering harmful gases. Next new Hybrid trees that don’t need the gasses that the cows don’t emit anymore. And so it goes.

  • Haha 1
  • Replies 3.3k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

diyer2
diyer2
txab
txab
diyer2
diyer2

Posted Images

MaverickZ71 Senior Enthusiast

MaverickZ71

Posted
Posted

People ask me all the time, "Most people who are good looking don't have any money, but you somehow have money and looks. How is that possible?"

 

Well, fine, I'll tell you the story....

 

Years ago, my buddy Dave and I went on a skiing trip, and after driving for a few hours, we got caught in a terrible blizzard, so we pulled into a nearby farm house.

 

We asked the attractive lady who answered the door if we could spend the night.

 

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed." she explained. "And I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

 

"Don't worry." I said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn, and if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."

 

The lady agreed, and we found our way to the barn and settled in for the night.

 

Come morning, the weather had cleared, so we got on our way and enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

 

But, about nine months later, I got an unexpected letter from an attorney.

 

It took me a few minutes to figure it out, but I finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow we had met on our skiing trip.

 

I dropped in on my friend, and asked, "Dave, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our skiing holiday about 9 months ago?"

 

"Yes, I do," said Dave.

 

"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"

 

"Well, um, yes!" Dave said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did."

 

"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?"

 

His face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"

 

"Well, she just died, and left me everything.” 😉

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
KARNUT Senior Enthusiast

KARNUT

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, customboss said:

The joke is on US. Canada and Mexico worked US. The fact you don’t know that is why he was re-elected. 

I know why. Enjoy LA LA land. I’ve spoken my last time to you. 

  • Thanks 1
customboss Senior Enthusiast

customboss

Posted
Posted
11 minutes ago, KARNUT said:

I know why. Enjoy LA LA land. I’ve spoken my last time to you. 

For goodness sake laugh at the cartoon, something funny. 

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Latest Articles

  • Posts

    • StingerZ16
      Navigating senior years.

      By StingerZ16 · Posted

      Remember when you were 50 and they called you Old Man?
    • Atlas
      Wow I'm in a pickle. (Broke down truck) and a story.

      By Atlas · Posted

      That one looks decent for the price   BUT..I want something that also supports OBDI/1.5. A lot of the prosumer-grade scanners don't have legacy support in order to keep costs low. I believe the Autel does if you go higher end with them.   For fun, I reached out to a local Snap-On rep because I was interested in the 2600. $1895 MSRP, says he can do $1595. That's still a lot, but then again, that's not a horrible discount for just asking out of the blue. Could probably do better if I was a regular buying off his truck, but I'm not.   Not sure if I mentioned but I didn't realize with USED scanners from Snap On that you need to make sure a) the serial number isn't flagged as stolen. On the newer ones, SnapOn can remotely disable the device if it's flagged in their system. And, customer service can tell you if it is, if you're thinking about buying used. B) Make sure it's paid off. If the seller still owes money to the truck or if they financed through Snap On, the device can be remotely disabled until the balance is paid. It's less clear if SnapOn will tell you if a balance is still owed; I didn't make it that far with the used model I was considering. I did read that SnapOn has no way of tracking any "truck financing" deals between the SnapOn rep and buyer, only if they financed through corporate. So there's that extra caution needed.   Still waffling on whether I go with a ~$500ish Autel/TopDon or spend bigger money. The value seems to be in the prosumer brands. I'm not giving them enough credit TBH, actual production repair shops use them daily BUT I'm still allergic to certain kinds of underdog products trying to unseat American companies with solid reputations. SnapOn's scanner isn't wholly made in the US, but it is assembled here and they have US support and probably the most proven/ robust legacy support.   Something to think about. Value, or principles? There's a $1k difference.
    • Atlas
      Winter Returned

      By Atlas · Posted

      I'm thankful to live where we don't have extreme weather. We might all be blown to smithereens when Mt. Rainier goes, but 80 is warm enough in the summer and I can generally count the number of hard freezes in the winter on one hand. The cars here don't rust and they don't get sun-baked, either.   We have finished off many of our average 52 days of "clear/sunny" weather, though. Sunsets are coming earlier, the nights are a little cooler. It's right around the first week of September when we get our first warning that summer is coming to a close with overcast skies and the start of "hoodie weather" temperatures during the cooler parts of the day. By October, it's usually time to ditch the shorts. By November, it's mostly raining.
    • JimCost2014
      Towing In Loose Gravel

      By JimCost2014 · Posted

      My point was: If what you are doing works, keep doing it:   But, I will have a talk with AI to make sure their info is more accurate going forward.
    • Reyben
      LP5 ECM For sale

      By Reyben · Posted

      Hello There I have a brand-new engine control module (ECM/PCM) for the Duramax 6.6 liter diesel engine. GM E41 ECM on 2017–2023 6.6L Duramax L5P trucks Bought it for a project last year and end selling the truck, so i never get to use this ECM LP5/E41 I paid $1499 willing to sell it for $1200 OBO  

  • GM-Trucks.com Clubs

  • Popular Contributors

×
×
  • Create New...