Joke Thread

KARNUT · January 31, 2025

41 minutes ago, customboss said:

Well, Well, Well: XXXXX Can’t Lower Egg Prices After All

Egg prices have hit an all-time high on the third day of the new presidency.

Haven’t you heard? The new president on day one ordered new chickens after a large kill was ordered by the last administration. Causing a rise of egg prices. They tested positive for bird flu. Some speculate it was to clear the way for chickens from China. Fulfilling a promise from long ago as brokered by his son, Hunter. Trump cancel the order. Instead Elon Musk came up with electric chicken hybrids that lay multiple eggs a day. In about a week we’ll have so many eggs they’ll be 1$ a dozen. Causing the recently purchased Chinese egg farms in the USA to go broke. Next up cows that don’t fart. Lowering harmful gases. Next new Hybrid trees that don’t need the gasses that the cows don’t emit anymore. And so it goes.

txab · February 1, 2025

Getting off topic!

:nono:

Edited February 1, 2025 by txab

MaverickZ71 · February 1, 2025

Someone needs to be the bigger person.

diyer2 · February 2, 2025

diyer2 · February 2, 2025

KARNUT · February 2, 2025

6 minutes ago, diyer2 said:

I’ve been there. Now I turn up the radio.

MaverickZ71 · February 2, 2025

People ask me all the time, "Most people who are good looking don't have any money, but you somehow have money and looks. How is that possible?"

Well, fine, I'll tell you the story....

Years ago, my buddy Dave and I went on a skiing trip, and after driving for a few hours, we got caught in a terrible blizzard, so we pulled into a nearby farm house.

We asked the attractive lady who answered the door if we could spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed." she explained. "And I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Don't worry." I said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn, and if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."

The lady agreed, and we found our way to the barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, so we got on our way and enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But, about nine months later, I got an unexpected letter from an attorney.

It took me a few minutes to figure it out, but I finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow we had met on our skiing trip.

I dropped in on my friend, and asked, "Dave, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our skiing holiday about 9 months ago?"

"Yes, I do," said Dave.

"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"

"Well, um, yes!" Dave said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did."

"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?"

His face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"

"Well, she just died, and left me everything.”