Joke Thread

[Chuck FB]

[Chuck FB]

Two women are chatting in an office.
Woman 1: "I had sex last night, did you?"
Woman 2: "Yes."
Woman 1: "Was it good?"
Woman 2: "No, it was a disaster... my husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?"
Woman 1: "Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We then had an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale!"

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.
Husband 1: "You wanted sex last night, how was it?"
Husband 2: "Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate, had sex with my wife and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?"
Husband 1: "It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour - and when we got home I remembered there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn't get it up for an hour and then I couldn't climax for another hour. After I finally did, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour!"

[Chuck FB]

[Chuck FB]

[diyer2]

[Grumpy Bear]

^

Well that's no joke! 

[Chuck FB]

[Chuck FB]

A very short video, I think some of you will find this amusing and perhaps useful as well into the future LOL. 

 

 

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1298748819002953

Edited August 1 by Chuck FB

[Chuck FB]

A homeless man approached me as I was leaving a sandwich shop…

He asked me if I had $10 to spare. I felt bad for him, and was just about to give him the money.

But then I realized I was holding a $10 foot long I had just bought, so I held up both the cash and the sandwich and told him he could have whichever one he preferred.

He stared at the sandwich. Then his eyes shot over to the $10 note. He looked at the sandwich again, then back at the cash. After a moment his eyes were darting back and forth between the two, and he threw up his hands in despair, let out a scream of anguish and then turned and ran away from me.
At first I was totally confused, but then it dawned on me:

Beggars can’t be choosers.

[Chuck FB]

Of course refrain from political debate but I myself have very dismal hope for what is all going on up here every where we turn so I nodded my head when I saw this joke. 

 

 

[KARNUT]

37 minutes ago, Chuck FB said:

Of course refrain from political debate but I myself have very dismal hope for what is all going on up here every where we turn so I nodded my head when I saw this joke. 

 

 

It took me a minute, but I got it.