Joke Thread

Atlas · January 14

Atlas · January 15

customboss · January 16

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1DXuCz82vg/?mibextid=wwXIfr

customboss · January 16

customboss · January 17

customboss · January 17

customboss · January 17

Chuck FB · January 19

The difference between "guts" and "balls" according to the British military.

There is a medical distinction between “Guts” and “Balls”, according to the British military. We've heard colleagues referring to people with “Guts”, or with “Balls”.

Do they, however, know the difference between them? Here’s the official distinction; straight from the British Medical Journal: Volume 323; page 295.

GUTS - Is arriving home late, after a night out with the lads, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the “Guts” to ask: “Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?”

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the lads, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the bum and having the “Balls” to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'

Medically speaking, there is no difference in outcome; both are fatal.

Chuck FB · January 21

A woman says, "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day, my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me."

The Doctor says, "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just
swish and swish but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down."

Two weeks later, the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

The woman says, "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How
Does a glass of water do that?"

The Doctor says, "The water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick..."

Atlas · January 23

Chuck FB · January 24

One of my cousins is really bad with money. She’s always calling my family members asking for money. She will call many times a day bugging them for money.

About a month ago, guess it was my turn to be bugged, she called me and said, “Hey cuz, I got a cutoff notice on my lights and a repo letter on my car, can you help?”

I told her, “Yes, I’ll be over shortly”

You should have seen the look on her face when I showed up with some candles and a bike!

Haven’t heard from her since!