Joke Thread

Chuck FB · July 17

Chuck FB · July 19

Two women are chatting in an office.
Woman 1: "I had sex last night, did you?"
Woman 2: "Yes."
Woman 1: "Was it good?"
Woman 2: "No, it was a disaster... my husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?"
Woman 1: "Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We then had an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale!"

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.
Husband 1: "You wanted sex last night, how was it?"
Husband 2: "Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate, had sex with my wife and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?"
Husband 1: "It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour - and when we got home I remembered there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn't get it up for an hour and then I couldn't climax for another hour. After I finally did, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour!"

Chuck FB · July 25

Chuck FB · July 26

diyer2 · July 31

Grumpy Bear · July 31

^

Well that's no joke!

Chuck FB · August 1

Chuck FB · August 1

A very short video, I think some of you will find this amusing and perhaps useful as well into the future LOL.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1298748819002953

Edited August 1 by Chuck FB

Chuck FB · Friday at 01:31 PM

A homeless man approached me as I was leaving a sandwich shop…

He asked me if I had $10 to spare. I felt bad for him, and was just about to give him the money.

But then I realized I was holding a $10 foot long I had just bought, so I held up both the cash and the sandwich and told him he could have whichever one he preferred.

He stared at the sandwich. Then his eyes shot over to the $10 note. He looked at the sandwich again, then back at the cash. After a moment his eyes were darting back and forth between the two, and he threw up his hands in despair, let out a scream of anguish and then turned and ran away from me.
At first I was totally confused, but then it dawned on me:

Beggars can’t be choosers.

Chuck FB · Sunday at 04:23 PM

Of course refrain from political debate but I myself have very dismal hope for what is all going on up here every where we turn so I nodded my head when I saw this joke.

KARNUT · Sunday at 05:01 PM

37 minutes ago, Chuck FB said:

Of course refrain from political debate but I myself have very dismal hope for what is all going on up here every where we turn so I nodded my head when I saw this joke.

It took me a minute, but I got it.

diyer2 · 2026-08-10T13:51:04Z

The cure for facism.

https://imgur.com/gallery/cure-fascism-9DH3bHs

Chuck FB · 2026-08-10T17:31:36Z

An ultra wealthy man had the most beautiful daughter.

But, there was a problem. Everything she touched would melt in her hands. No matter what, Metal, Wood, Stone. Anything she touched would melt. She could not feed herself.

Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. Her father was despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?

He consulted doctors, scientists and anybody who could solve this problem.

Finally one of them said, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."

He was overjoyed and came up with a plan.

The next day, he held a competition. Any man who could bring his daughter an object that would not melt in her hands would be given billions of dollars to marry her.

Three extremely intelligent and handsome young men took up the challenge.

The first brought a very heavy steel rod, But alas, when the she touched it, it completely melted in a matter of seconds. He sadly went away.

The second brought a beautiful diamond, knowing diamonds were one of the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once she held it in her hand, it melted. He too was sent away disappointed.

So now, there was one left

He was very nervous & sweating. He approached the daughter & said, “put your hand in my pants pocket and feel what is in there."

She did exactly what he asked.

She felt something very hard.

She held it in her hand, squeezing it

as hard as she could.

It did not melt & remained extremely hard.

Her father was overjoyed. Everybody was overjoyed.

She was finally cured. Nothing never, ever melted in her hand again.

They married and they both lived happily ever after, raising a wonderful family.

Question: What was in the the groom’s pants pocket???

Answer below ↓

M&Ms of course!

They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

What on earth were you thinking?