Navigating senior years.

[Donstar]

Does the squeaky wheel get the grease?  Yesterday my regular Doctor suggested that I may want to consider getting my knee replaced before my shoulder.  My surgeon strongly advises to do the shoulder first. This morning I am wondering how bad it would be to get them both done at the same time.  I wouldn't do both at once in consideration to my wife  However, I wonder if anyone here has done two joint replacements at the same time?

[KARNUT]

9 minutes ago, Donstar said:

Does the squeaky wheel get the grease?  Yesterday my regular Doctor suggested that I may want to consider getting my knee replaced before my shoulder.  My surgeon strongly advises to do the shoulder first. This morning I am wondering how bad it would be to get them both done at the same time.  I wouldn't do both at once in consideration to my wife  However, I wonder if anyone here has done two joint replacements at the same time?

My brother had two knee replacements about 10 years ago. Not at the same time of course. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. It was rough with rehab and recovery. You will need your arms for support and stability. You wouldn’t want to be reaching for support with an arm in a sling. 

[diyer2]

Do them separate, together lots of pain to deal with. Mobility and taking care of yourself will be nonexistent. I'm 7 weeks post shoulder surgery and still have pain and limited use.

[KARNUT]

4 minutes ago, diyer2 said:

Do them separate, together lots of pain to deal with. Mobility and taking care of yourself will be nonexistent. I'm 7 weeks post shoulder surgery and still have pain and limited use.

With knee and hip replacement they want you moving. Otherwise you’ll lose mobility. My brother didn’t want to use the meds as prescribed. Big mistake. The physical therapy people will force movement if you don’t do it. Use the meds!

[customboss]

My caregiver is getting her second knee replaced next week. Surgeon is so good the recovery for first was a snap. Taking meds and moving is critical. Joint is good for full use on moment one . The tissues nerves around it are what hurts. She’s getting second done before I’m brain dead. So I’m a psycho nurse again.

[Donstar]

I appreciate that rehab is better one joint at a time.  I need to rehab consecutively rather than concurrently!   The waitlists are long and it's a happy moment when you get a date!  I will still have to cope with the joint that has to wait for a later surgery during the recovery of my first bout of rehab.   Thanks Diyer2 for your thread and posts about your shoulder surgery.  It is most helpful in my preparations.  There are several YouTube videos on this topic but these are typically produced well after the recovery.  Time has a way of blurring the real time challenges like Diyer2 currently faces.   An acquaintance also told me that she  had both knees replaced.  She couldn't say enough good things about the results and had very little to say about the time leading up to her surgery.  I look forward to being at her post surgery stage but I am now getting a first-hand experience of what she and others like Karnut's brother went through  pre-surgery!  

 

[Donstar]

I received an emotional, heartfelt letter from a grandchild yesterday.  It was written in a manner that makes us rethink how we report our medical issues to our own children.  Grandpa waiting to have a couple of joints replaced, and the extra pressure on Grandma, put joint replacement as a signal that the end is near in our grandteen's mind.    I fully understand the need to discuss and prepare for the typical order of life events but joint replacement and/or arthritis is not just for old people.  Discussing ways to support healthy joints and bodies and using me as an example would be more appropriate.   I remember my upset finding out the secret battles my father went through in his last 13 years.  My mum kept his and her issues quiet but mum kept a detailed diary which I read after her death.  I need to find a better balance between my parents' and our current reporting methods!  We know (hope) that our grandchildren will experience losing us but no need for them to start grieving prematurely! 

[KARNUT]

21 hours ago, Donstar said:

I received an emotional, heartfelt letter from a grandchild yesterday.  It was written in a manner that makes us rethink how we report our medical issues to our own children.  Grandpa waiting to have a couple of joints replaced, and the extra pressure on Grandma, put joint replacement as a signal that the end is near in our grandteen's mind.    I fully understand the need to discuss and prepare for the typical order of life events but joint replacement and/or arthritis is not just for old people.  Discussing ways to support healthy joints and bodies and using me as an example would be more appropriate.   I remember my upset finding out the secret battles my father went through in his last 13 years.  My mum kept his and her issues quiet but mum kept a detailed diary which I read after her death.  I need to find a better balance between my parents' and our current reporting methods!  We know (hope) that our grandchildren will experience losing us but no need for them to start grieving prematurely! 

I do for my kids and grandkids what I wish my grandparents did for me. I prepare them for the reality of life and aging. Enjoy the things you can do when you’re young and be realistic in what you can do when your older. Get in the habit of going to the doctor and dentist. Find a life partner. Enjoy what you eat in moderation. And invest and save money. Make sure you do your research before you make a decision. Or quite frankly talk to your elders who lived the life. It’s real easy to see who are the train wreck’s and who aren’t. Be realistic and go to church. 

[Donstar]

Sometimes we just need to accept that others won't understand exactly how or "what you're feeling.  Lately, (but too late) I've had  moments where I've said to myself, "This is what mum (or Dad)  was trying to tell me".   I also understand why some information was left out. Our kids are watching us and our grandchildren treat us as more fragile than we actually feel.  We see ourselves as we always have but we do look in the mirror regularly and appreciate what they may think.  

[KARNUT]

We don’t get the kid gloves around here. We’re entering the time of year we entertain. All our kids and grandkids know is mom cooks for thanksgiving. We have two blowouts. The kids and grandkids on Thursday and in-laws and kids and grandkids on Saturday. As much as 30 or even more. The Christmas meal, Easter ending with hoagies for the Super Bowl. Sometimes New Year. The difference in the last fifteen years I help. We can’t even have a conversation about downsizing the family home. It rocks their world. I built the house on the property just for that. We rent it out. I always projected the persona of being tough as nails. I working on breaking to them gently. I’m not super man and I’m getting older. In my family it’s a generational thing. My father ran equipment well into his 60s love it. Grabbing a chainsaw, weed eater swinging a sledgehammer no big deal. Show no weakness, tough to do. I’m guilty too. Something about when the younger generation looks at you thinking you can do anything. You just do it. Tylenol later, when no one is looking. 

[Donstar]

As adults, Christmastime found us all gathering at my parents for a decade or two, then our house for a decade or two and now we're honored senior family at our choice of venues.  Our children and our siblings' children love to host such events and we love the visiting w/o the responsibilities! The past few Dec.25 suppers have found my wife and me eating a turkey meal by ourselves or with a close neighbour.   We join family prior and following the main event.   

[KARNUT]

My father in law was hosting thanksgiving in his 90s. The last 3 since his wife passed her kids would do most of the prep and clean up. We would show the following week in Fayetteville. Christmas afternoon here is different than thanksgiving. My youngest shows up with his family for breakfast. Then leaves for the in-laws. There’s two sets so it’s a long day. My second daughter who’s between husbands. I expect she will be married to number 3 this time next year after 10 years single. Will show up two adult kids and one that’s 12 just before the first set leaves. They usually stick around all day. My oldest daughter and her husband will show in the late afternoon after dinner at his parents. Usually something is in the crockpot. Thanksgiving programs are easy, football. Between baseball and NASCAR I don’t start watching football until thanksgiving. I haven’t recovered from the kneeling controversy yet, I’m getting there. Not to mention Texas football hasn’t been that exciting since the love you blue days. 

[Donstar]

We're shopping for a new Queen sized mattress and box spring today.   Our initial look online reminded me how much I hate shopping for a new mattress!  We're heading to a couple of big box type furniture stores and hoping a great deal on the ultimate in comfort mattress will pop!  Any suggestions?   I consider us to be a pretty average 70+ year old couple with our share of aches and pains!  We know better than to buy the cheapest but don't wish to  experience financial hardship over the price of a high end bed!

[diyer2]

Look at air beds, adjust the firmness to your aches. We've had one for many years, would never go back to a mattress. Mattress needs replaced due to wear saging, air bed saves in the long run. 

 

[KARNUT]

Fortunately I can sleep anywhere. The mattress deal is handled by my wife. She makes sure that any mattress she buys can be returned. I’ve seen her spend months testing mattresses before settling on one.