Navigating senior years.

customboss · April 11, 2025

1 hour ago, Donstar said:

Yesterday, I had two hours of pre-op for upcoming knee surgery. I know surgery won't end my pain as significant osteoarthritis is home in many joints. (I still have to wait until I have my shoulder replacement before this knee.) The pre-op is for preparing you to make the most from surgery. I have no delusion that my pain will disappear. My pre and post surgery behavior will impact the outcome and I plan to make the best of my aftermarket parts. I also know my pain will get a lot worse for awhile but with a lot of hard work, my timeline of decreasing mobility will be extended. One major benefit of joint replacement is reducing strain and wear on compensating joints. For example, I can manage with a bad left knee but the added strain on my less arthritic right knee will find me prematurely immobile. The strain a dysfunctional knee places on other joints, even shoulders, is significant. I agree that surgery is a last resort and shouldn't be used if the problem can be fixed by lifestyle changes. I have two major joints that will be replaced to afford my stock parts a more gradual retirement. I also have some sad surgical outcomes I could share and I hate that this happens. My wife cried after participating in my pre-op because even the most common surgeries have risks. She also has experienced life altering surgeries but appreciates the sometimes less desirable trade-off of allowing nature to take its course.

Best of luck to you and I’ll be pulling for you. I must say my elbow and wrist are amazingly without pain since surgery Tuesday. I’m weaning off the hydrocodone so I know the relief is real.
Best wishes Donstar.

diyer2 · April 11, 2025

I had shoulder surgery on Sept. 6 for 2 rotator cuff tears and to reattach my bicep muscle. Still have pain and limited use of my hand and arm. I did months of physical therapy so now I do exercises at home, more time is what I hope helps.

I was told it could be a year because the bicep muscle required a mesh piece attached to the tendon end and then holes drilled into the bone and sewn to reattach the end.

I had trouble with this arm for a year prior trying to avoid surgery, trying time being one armed and handed.

I still have trouble putting a gallon of milk in the fridge, I can barely hold a 5 lb. weight straight out from my shoulder.

customboss · April 11, 2025

1 hour ago, diyer2 said:

I had shoulder surgery on Sept. 6 for 2 rotator cuff tears and to reattach my bicep muscle. Still have pain and limited use of my hand and arm. I did months of physical therapy so now I do exercises at home, more time is what I hope helps.

I was told it could be a year because the bicep muscle required a mesh piece attached to the tendon end and then holes drilled into the bone and sewn to reattach the end.

I had trouble with this arm for a year prior trying to avoid surgery, trying time being one armed and handed.

I still have trouble putting a gallon of milk in the fridge, I can barely hold a 5 lb. weight straight out from my shoulder.

Thats serious surgery and 1 year sounds about right. Hang in there!!!

Donstar · April 11, 2025

I've watched several YouTubes on shoulder surgery. Recovery can be nasty and hopefully the good will soon triumph for you, Diyer2! I was interested in hearing about your surgery last September. I have learned to avoid using my bad shoulder while waiting for surgery but this inactivity can do more harm than good in the recovery process! I hope to receive the call very soon!

Donstar · April 12, 2025

There is a seniors shopping list that rivals preparing for a new born! My pre-op shopping list is largely comprised of essentials I've tossed or donated following the passing of senior family members! Shower chair, toilet seat riser, two wheeled walker, walking poles, etc. etc. I had a good chuckle last night as I was looking through marketplace for local deals on some of this equipment. My search history has certainly "evolved"! I turned off my computer for the night when I found myself comparing reviews on $15 vs $18 walker skis. The icing on the cake was when I found myself checking with my wife if she has seen any old tennis balls in our treasures! If you don't know why I was looking at walker skis or looking for tennis balls, they are high performance options that will eventually find their way onto your shopping list!

KARNUT · April 12, 2025

My wife and I married in high school. She being an army brat was along with family we’re about to go overseas. We had our three kids early were grandparents early. Retired early. In contrast her brother who’s close in age didn’t find his mate until his 30s. When I retired we watched his daughters compete in sports traveling to events. They because of having kids in high school in their 50s and college in their 60s. Live their life like they’re much younger. He’s retiring just this week. They have a giant list of projects like I did 15 years ago! They are planning starting retirement years. While we talked about assisted living. My plans have paused a bit on that. Now we plan on being together more to keep ourselves in check. Things I used to hire out, I’m going to help him do like restoring his firebird. Keeping me moving and making sure he doesn’t overdo it. His kids keep him busy and young. I need to slow down and not be anxious to hit the next stage in life too soon. Since retirement I’ve tried to be more of smelling the roses type instead of rushing to the next thing.

Grumpy Bear · April 12, 2025

23 hours ago, customboss said:

I must say my elbow and wrist are amazingly without pain since surgery Tuesday. I’m weaning off the hydrocodone so I know the relief is real.

Glad that worked. :thumbs: (I still hear things).

Donstar · April 14, 2025

My brother is planning to retire this year. He will be in his mid-seventies. Money has not dictated when he can retire so I suspect health is his incentive to retire at this time. Like our Dad, he is difficult to talk with on matters related to health. Stoic is what some would say. I say suffering in silence is a waste. We don't want to be that person who is always complaining but it is mutually beneficial to talk with your peers about your health concerns. I'm always suspicious of anyone in their 70's saying they're in good health! Yes, you may be in good health with consideration to age related health issues, but you still have health concerns. It is surprising how therapeutic it is to share your worries with someone. It is not typically something men do but that doesn't mean it's wrong.

customboss · April 14, 2025

37 minutes ago, Donstar said:

My brother is planning to retire this year. He will be in his mid-seventies. Money has not dictated when he can retire so I suspect health is his incentive to retire at this time. Like our Dad, he is difficult to talk with on matters related to health. Stoic is what some would say. I say suffering in silence is a waste. We don't want to be that person who is always complaining but it is mutually beneficial to talk with your peers about your health concerns. I'm always suspicious of anyone in their 70's saying they're in good health! Yes, you may be in good health with consideration to age related health issues, but you still have health concerns. It is surprising how therapeutic it is to share your worries with someone. It is not typically something men do but that doesn't mean it's wrong.

Word. We all end up same place. Dead

KARNUT · April 14, 2025

I like to keep it to a minimum. Once it starts (that topic) it dominates. We all deteriorate no reason to dwell. There’s places you can discuss like here. Probably one of the reasons older men seek younger women later in life. That’s all they talk about. I finally told my wife if I can’t fix it I don’t want to hear about it. Just smile. Or get me the whisky.

Edited April 14, 2025 by KARNUT

customboss · April 14, 2025

Mr Dick Whiskey troubles me.

customboss · April 14, 2025

I’m enjoying the ride as much as possible. I’m terrible pain generally so I make best of it.

I just miss good sex. ….. or was that a fever dream???

Donstar · April 15, 2025

19 hours ago, customboss said:

I’m enjoying the ride as much as possible. I’m terrible pain generally so I make best of it.

I just miss good sex. ….. or was that a fever dream???

The pain and/or the medication to reduce the pain certainly has an impact on the good sex part of the aging process. We may make jokes about it but are usually uncomfortable with serious discussion. Sex is a major component to our overall health. I remember asking my Doctor for pills to assist the physical part. This led us to appreciate all of the other aspects surrounding the need for such pills. I miss the spontaneity part of the younger us but I enjoy the current us. Our intimate times together still are our reward and motivation to get through all the other challenges life throws at a marriage!

KARNUT · April 15, 2025

I was going to start a new thread about things that make me wonder. But being my topic closely fits this thread I’ll just comment here. While at church. A place I go because I promised my wife I would about 30 years ago. I was working 7 days a week so I promised my wife when I retired I would join her every Sunday. I said but I’m not going to be sucked into all the extra curricular activities. Didn’t work I’m involved in most things. I’m a loner by preference. My wife isn’t. Her day is filled with helping others. I stay home. I only help her when necessary. Boy that sounds bad. But when you get older you say screw it I’m doing what I want. Well except going to church. Well I figured I can give the big man something. I do still learn things. Or just remember things. So now I’ll get to what I really am astonished about. Last year while doing parking lot trick or treat at church. Yup one of those extra things at church. I noticed one of the ladies back window taped up. Waiting on parts when I asked. I noticed again at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Finally my wife asked her about it. The dealer said it was 1300$ to fix. Did I mention it was the back window? Actually it’s both, so times two. I said damn, tell her to tell her husband to glue it. The dealer taped it temporarily. So passing her in the hallway after church l said glue it. Then she says hey Stan. Oh no. I’m thinking. Can you do it. I’ll be honest. What’s the matter with you husband? I was thinking. I turned around and smiled, sure I said. Most people probably would feel warm and fuzzy. Me I’m thinking how stupid can they be? So after church the following week in about 20 minutes. I hit it with two kinds of glue and little wedges at the bottom. The whole time her husband is saying what kind of genius I am. Then I wonder. How do people get by? Couldn’t be more simple. Probably gets their coffee at Starbucks and bottled water at the stop and go. Then here it comes. Can we take you to lunch? Ahhhh! No thank I said NASCAR is about to start.

KARNUT · April 15, 2025

13 minutes ago, Donstar said:

The pain and/or the medication to reduce the pain certainly has an impact on the good sex part of the aging process. We may make jokes about it but are usually uncomfortable with serious discussion. Sex is a major component to our overall health. I remember asking my Doctor for pills to assist the physical part. This led us to appreciate all of the other aspects surrounding the need for such pills. I miss the spontaneity part of the younger us but I enjoy the current us. Our intimate times together still are our reward and motivation to get through all the other challenges life throws at a marriage!

Some people in marriage get the physical part of marriage confused with intimacy. They get all out of shape with the animal instinct of the relationship. The sole purpose is to replicate. Maybe we were just lucky but that’s a small but fun part of the relationship. Intimacy is there all day long. If that isn’t the marriage doesn’t survive. If, or when the wam bang leaves. The rest will survive. When I first started blood pressure meds. The side effects was supposed to diminished the drive. It didn’t. The animal was more prevalent then. It’s still here. I wouldn’t say how often. I’m like really, all ready? Intimacy is the key.