In-law

ryan_hermanutz · May 4, 2009

Do any of you guys have mother in-law problems, and if so how do you deal with them? Without getting to involved I am ready to sever all ties with my mother in-law, but that obviously will create a ton of drama for everyone. Any advise on this would be great.

mr_bots · May 4, 2009

No in-laws, but I can assume:

ryan_hermanutz · May 4, 2009

Yeah, but there isn't enough to solve the issues.

Z71kris · May 4, 2009

sorry mine isn't to bad, my wife doesn't feel the same, meh, not my concern, the JD should help a little...

Nick The Great · May 4, 2009

Without getting Dr Phil on you here, we need more info.

Regardless of your reasons, if Wifey isn't on your side, your life is going to be 100x more difficult.

mr_bots · May 4, 2009

Ok, something stronger:

or for less money:

grampadirt · May 4, 2009

There were times when we didn't get along so I just stayed away from them.Howerver for the most part we got along well.Her dad died in '83,here mom in '04.After her dad died her mom and I got to be good friends since I was the ''man'' for the family and she relied on me for alot of things.How long have you been married? were the in-laws OK with the marriage? I would say your wife is ''with you'' now and not so much ''with her parents'',you're gonna have tough times..that's just part of life and being married..oh,yeah....CR helped a little

Stevens03 · May 4, 2009

Nothing wrong with severing the ties. My wife did it with my mother/father due to them being assholes, and I stand behind her.

Sometimes, you just don't have a choice.

rvsahs · May 4, 2009

There were times when we didn't get along so I just stayed away from them.Howerver for the most part we got along well.Her dad died in '83,here mom in '04.After her dad died her mom and I got to be good friends since I was the ''man'' for the family and she relied on me for alot of things.How long have you been married? were the in-laws OK with the marriage? I would say your wife is ''with you'' now and not so much ''with her parents'',you're gonna have tough times..that's just part of life and being married..oh,yeah....CR helped a little

+1 Yes, we need some more info here in order to help ya resolve the issues...

ryan_hermanutz · May 4, 2009

Hopefully I'll sum it up without being to long. Pretty much from the beginning it was apparent that she did not like me much, and truth be told I don't like her at all either. Well it's been 4 years and I'm about done with her and her antics and attitude. When I met my wife, she was a single mother of a daughter that was 7, and her mom was the main babysitter at the time. Well since I came into the picture her mom was not as involved in her life, I think she resents that very much. She was not a very mother to my wife; married 4 times each time to an abusive ass, she would pack the kids up leave and then go back to him until she found a new **** to live with. Despite all that she knows better than we do. I won't claim to be the best husband or father, but I am honest, truthful, reliable, and faithful and there really isn't anything I wouldn't do for the two of them. When her mother was the babysitter, she didn't really make our daughter do anything, and she always got her way, but when I came along it was time to teach her some discipline and manors. I have never once laid a hand on her, but she is not allowed to do things and not have any consequences. One of the first major fights we had even before we were married was that we made a rule that she couldn't watch T.V. at bedtime; understand this kid will stay up until 2-3 in the morning if you let her keep the T.V. on. Her mom found this out at Target while we were shopping for something. Well she came completely un-glued and lost it right then and there. In the parking lot on the way out she was really freaking out bad enough for everyone in ears distance to stop and stare. At this point she decided that I was "Just a ****ing rookie at raising kids." I unfortunately have taken this statement way to far over the last 3-1/2 years, I usually remind her of her statement whenever there is a confrontation. Two weeks before I proposed to my wife, we got into another fight this time for grounding her from the T.V. for 20 minutes for arguing with her mom. Well her mom was so made that she started to cry and ran out of the house. Two weeks later I proposed to my wife and she tried to call her mom to tell her, but her mom didn't want to talk to her and hung up. She tried unsuccessfully for a week to talk to her, but she was to upset and angry with me. We had to tell my wife's sister and grandfather to tell her mom so that they would talk. After knowing about it for a week they finally talked. It's been 4 years of that crap and just last week we got into it again. Her mom peddles diet supplements, and she has a new product that she wants us to use, it has 41,000% the daily B12 vitamin intake and 15,000% the daily C vitamin intake. I'm not putting that much crap in my system and neither is my wife, but she loves to give product samples to her grandkids, so I asked her not to give any of it to our daughter. She once again freaked out screaming on her way out the door and she slammed the door and tore out of the driveway. My wife isn't a fan of this crap and says she understands why I don't like her and all, but it's her mother. I told my wife that I can't keep her from coming over but that I won't be here when she comes over and that I won't be attending any family functions when she is there. She isn't very happy about it at all and to top it off this week is mother's day. So should I take it for the team and deal with it, or hold my ground?

mr_bots · May 4, 2009

Sounds like she's overstepping her boundaries into trying to tell you and your wife how to raise your own kids. Might I suggest finding a hobby to go do when you know she's coming, better yet, get your kids involved in it too. Go fishing, 4-wheelin, hiking, the movies, etc. Maybe the best thing is to tell her that unless she can respect the way you want to raise your own kids she's not welcome around them.

66nova · May 4, 2009

My wife isn't a fan of this crap and says she understands why I don't like her and all, but it's her mother. I told my wife that I can't keep her from coming over but that I won't be here when she comes over and that I won't be attending any family functions when she is there. She isn't very happy about it at all and to top it off this week is mother's day. So should I take it for the team and deal with it, or hold my ground?

But you are her husband! I don't know your religious beliefs, but a husband/wife comes should come before any other family member including parents and children. I am not saying this is easy to do, but it needs to be done on both your parts if you guys want to keep a happy marriage.

I have had to have sit downs with my in-laws. I love them to death, but once they started trying to have too much of a say in how my family was being ran I stepped up immediately. I explained (and the important part is my wife supports me 100%) to my in-laws that if they wanted to continue to see us and future children that they (mainly she) was going to have to respect the way we do things. She didn't have to like them, but it was not her choice.

For the most part, things have been really good since. Yes, there are times when she still gets under my skin, but she gives us more room and respect then any of her other children.

Your wife and kids are your family. Set your rules, back them up and hold your ground. Your mother in-law will come around if she wants to see her grandchildren. Just get your wife on board and explain to her once you said your vows, you agreed to put all other relations second.

ryan_hermanutz · May 4, 2009

I have tried telling her that, but at this point anything that comes out of my mouth isn’t heard. My wife has told her this too, but unless it’s her way she doesn’t care. Actually I just found out a couple minutes ago that her alternator just went out and she won’t ask for me to fix it for her. She just paid a tow truck $150 to tow her car to a shop and is going to have to pay them $450 to fix it, all because she hates me. In the past I have been the one who maintains her vehicle; I won’t let her drive our daughter around unless it’s safe, so I know she knows that I am more than capable o R&R'ing an alternator. We had to buy her tires, yeah the dude that’s unemployed had to buy her tires, because her threads were showing for 6 months.

grampadirt · May 4, 2009

I agree with Matt,granted you're step-dad but you should still pull rank over here mom.I'm thinkig your wife picked you 'cause she trusts you to take care of her and her daughter.Your mother-in-law just seems like a pure Biotch!!

She prolly led a spoiled life and always got her way,then you came along and changed that...instant animosity!! Let your wife see her mom with her daughter without you there,might be to much bad karma.

You know: ''and that's when the fight started''

ryan_hermanutz · May 4, 2009

My wife isn't a fan of this crap and says she understands why I don't like her and all, but it's her mother. I told my wife that I can't keep her from coming over but that I won't be here when she comes over and that I won't be attending any family functions when she is there. She isn't very happy about it at all and to top it off this week is mother's day. So should I take it for the team and deal with it, or hold my ground?

But you are her husband! I don't know your religious beliefs, but a husband/wife comes should come before any other family member including parents and children. I am not saying this is easy to do, but it needs to be done on both your parts if you guys want to keep a happy marriage.

I have had to have sit downs with my in-laws. I love them to death, but once they started trying to have too much of a say in how my family was being ran I stepped up immediately. I explained (and the important part is my wife supports me 100%) to my in-laws that if they wanted to continue to see us and future children that they (mainly she) was going to have to respect the way we do things. She didn't have to like them, but it was not her choice.

For the most part, things have been really good since. Yes, there are times when she still gets under my skin, but she gives us more room and respect then any of her other children.

Your wife and kids are your family. Set your rules, back them up and hold your ground. Your mother in-law will come around if she wants to see her grandchildren. Just get your wife on board and explain to her once you said your vows, you agreed to put all other relations second.

My wife is on board for the most part. I'm a heartless ass, so I have no problem cutting someone off at the knees if I need to, my family included. But at this point she isn't completely ready to lay down that much permanent law. We have told her a couple time to knock it off or else.