Joke Thread

[MaverickZ71]

 

[MaverickZ71]

[MaverickZ71]

[MaverickZ71]

[MaverickZ71]

[MaverickZ71]

[diyer2]

 

[MaverickZ71]

2 hours ago, diyer2 said:

 

 

See 2 posts above.

??

[MaverickZ71]

[diyer2]

 

[diyer2]

 

[MaverickZ71]

My friend promised to take me to
Donald Trump's inauguration if he was re-elected. 

When he ordered the tickets he didn't realize it was on the same day as his wedding.

He just received the tickets in the mail today and is very upset.

I told him not to worry that I'd help him find someone to take his place. 

So, if anyone is interested
it's at the Baptist Church in Mesa, AZ at 5:00 pm. Her name is Lisa, she's a great cook and she'll be wearing a white dress.

[KARNUT]

I cop comes upon a parked truck under a bridge. He walks to the truck in the backseat is a girl doing her homework. Sit on the front seat is a guy listening to the radio. He taps on his window. How old are you he asked the guy. 22 was his answer. And the girl in the back? In 11 minutes she’ll be 18.

[MaverickZ71]

Joe didn’t want to work for the government anymore, so he started looking for factory work. 

 

He found a job in quality control at the M&M factory. 

 

Unfortunately, he didn’t last a week. He kept throwing away the Ws.

[MaverickZ71]

Remember during the toilet paper shortage a few years ago? 

 

I was at the store one day with my service dog and a blue haired lady in front of me at the checkout had an entire cart full of toilet paper. 

 

With an attitude, she asked me, "What kind of service dog do you have?" 

 

I told her, "Ma'am, Just a service dog." 

 

Then she got really arrogant with me and said, "I knew that, what kind of service dog?" 

 

I said, "He was a BLD." 

 

By then my dog was being super friendly to her, licking her face and hands and everything.

 

She said, "What is BLD?" 

 

I said, "Butt Licking Dog."

 

She said, "Butt licking dog?"

 

I said, "Yeah, he has been trained to lick my butt clean because I can't seem to find any toilet paper because of all the hoarders."