Joke Thread

[diyer2]

 

[MaverickZ71]

[customboss]

[customboss]

[MaverickZ71]

1 hour ago, customboss said:

 

Actually, he has plans to annex all the way through Panama, and Cuba and the Caribbean as well. Truly North America.

 

PS. Canada's new nickname is Snow Mexico. 

[diyer2]

 

[diyer2]

 

[Donstar]

No politics.  I personally find it unfathomable that in 2025 North America we would be talking or even joking about initiating  an unsolicited take over of another country.  I am Canadian and a long time forum member.  I  accept some ribbing but imagine if a major power (especially neighbour and friend) was appearing on your nightly news talking takeover of your country.  It was humorous at first but the seed was planted and prudent not to water.

[diyer2]

 

[txab]

Not a political thread.

 

JOKES!

 

Others probably will be deleted.

 

Doubt if diyer2 appreciates his thread being mucked up with political discussions

Edited January 10, 2025 by txab

[diyer2]

 

[diyer2]

 

[MaverickZ71]

Years ago when I was still a drinking man, I was stumbling through the woods, one day, totally drunk, when I saw a preacher baptizing people in the river.

I proceeded to cross the river and the current ended up sweeping me into the preacher.

He grabbed ahold of me and was almost overcome by the smell of alcohol on my breath, whereupon he asked me,

“Are you ready to find Jesus?”

I shouted, “Yes, I am!”

So the preacher grabbed me and dunked me in the water.

He pulled me up and asked me, “Brother, have you found Jesus?”

I replied, “No, I haven't found Jesus.”

The preacher, shocked by my answer, dunked me Into the water again for a little longer.

He pulled me out of the water and asked again, “Have you found Jesus my brother?”

I again answered, “No, I haven't found Jesus.”

By this time the preacher was at his wits end and dunked me in the water again

but this time held me down for about 30 seconds and when I began kicking my arms and legs he pulled me up.

The preacher again asked, “For the love of God son, have you found Jesus?”

I wiped my eyes and caught my breath and said to the preacher, “Are you sure this is where He fell in?”

[MaverickZ71]

A female dwarf went to her gynecologist for an annual check up.

 

"Any issues or concerns?" asked the Doctor.

 

"Well, now that you mention it, I have noticed that when it rains, my labia gets a bit red and sore."

 

"That's very unusual", says the Doctor, "Hop up on the table and let me take a look."

 

She does, and after a few minutes of checking, he said, “You can get dressed again.

 

"There doesn't appear to be anything wrong at the moment, but next time it rains and you get the same reaction, I want you to come straight in, okay?"

 

About two weeks later, after two days of steady rain, she was in a fair amount of discomfort and headed back to the Doctor's office.

 

The Doctor had her stand in front of him and told her to lift up her skirt. Examining her for a few moments he said, " You're right, it's very inflamed, but I think I see the problem."

 

He went to his desk and grabbed a pair of surgical scissors and sat back down in front of her. "This won't hurt a bit," he said, as the scissors neared her crotch.

 

She was so afraid that she had to look away. 

 

After a couple of minutes of cutting he tells her, "Okay, you can let your skirt down now. 

 

Try a few steps around the office and see if that's made a difference."

 

Cautiously at first she took little steps, then her eyes lit up as she took several big strides.

 

"Oh Doctor," she exclaimed joyfully, "That's such a relief, what did you do?!"

 

"Not much," he said, "I just cut about two inches off the top of your rubber boots.”

[MaverickZ71]