Eye Surgery

diyer2 · January 24

diyer2 · January 29

Wife can't come home yet due to elevation change, eye gas bubble isn't gone. She's having a hard time with this now, lonely and just tired of it . She started crying while on the phone with me today, it will be 2 weeks tomorrow.

Grumpy Bear · January 29

25 minutes ago, diyer2 said:

Wife can't come home yet due to elevation change, eye gas bubble isn't gone. She's having a hard time with this now, lonely and just tired of it . She started crying while on the phone with me today, it will be 2 weeks tomorrow.

I know it's cold comfort but the body takes the time it takes to heal. Remember when my wife broke her ankle over a year ago and was wheelchaired for months? She'd get bluesy too. Cry and rail. Most of the time she just needed to know that someone saw and acknowledged what she was going through. Needed to be heard. She's up and about now and running at 95%. It will pass. Just takes time and humans are impatient creatures. Especially when we are in pain or suffering.

You're doing fine sir. Listening is huge. Mine appreciated I didn't let the household tasks slack and a bit of pampering when she was up to it. Get the girl some chocolate.

Edited January 29 by Grumpy Bear

diyer2 · January 29

txab · January 29

Are you able to be with her everyday?

diyer2 · January 29

Yes, I could. I'm home taking care of our cats. Over an hours drive each way.

KARNUT · January 29

About 15 years ago a routine surgery where mistakes were made turned into 5 years of additional corrective surgery. During that time my wife was more concerned about how it affected me than her pain and discomfort. We learned a lot about each other and made adjustments to return to a normal life. A kind of a prelude to what old age will require as couples. It changed mine as well as her way of thinking about partnership. Men take car of the yard, cars. Women take care of the house. I never did a laundry, dishes, sweeping or vacuuming. I do that now. She still doesn’t do anything about the yard or cars. But the kids turned out good. I really didn’t do much there I was working building a business. I spoil her rotten now, she earned it.

txab · January 29

1 hour ago, diyer2 said:

Yes, I could. I'm home taking care of our cats. Over an hours drive each way.

I understand. Been in that situation myself. Bet she wants to see the cats

KARNUT · January 29

1 hour ago, txab said:

I understand. Been in that situation myself. Bet she wants to see the cats

Maybe she wants her husband. Cats can take care of themselves.

Grumpy Bear · January 30

13 hours ago, diyer2 said:

Yes, I could. I'm home taking care of our cats. Over an hours drive each way.

How are you feeling? I mean you've been through the wringer yourself lately. Would you even be up to a daily commute? An hour of mountain driving isn't the same as an hour for us flatlanders. You have to look out for yourself as well if you are going to be able to help her. Right? We're all puling for you two.

We've cats as well. They, as you know, are not all the same. One we have left is 17 and still does well being left over night. But our neighbor had one that was diabetic and needed two a day shots. Our last cat, a geriatric, needed daily care the last few years. You'll figure it out. Both of you together will figure it out.

KARNUT · January 30

I’m not judging, everyone has different ways of dealing with events. I know some people who have feeders that can feed and water cats for days and there’s litter boxes. They have no problem leaving their cats for days. I just felt bad for the wife. I wouldn’t be able to leave my wife alone. Yes we’re co-dependent and lean on each other. Especially since we’ve retired. My heart breaks for his wife.

diyer2 · January 30

Wife texted me yesterday evening, picking her up this morning.

Yes, she misses the cats and a lot of other things. The solitude where we live, our food etc.

We agreed I would go to her when needed.

I'm doing OK. Still have some issues.

Edited January 30 by diyer2

txab · January 30

43 minutes ago, diyer2 said:

Wife texted me yesterday evening, picking her up this morning.

Yes, she misses the cats and a lot of other things. The solitude where we live, our food etc.

We agreed I would go to her when needed.

I'm doing OK. Still have some issues.

Very good!

Grumpy Bear · January 30

6 hours ago, KARNUT said:

I’m not judging, everyone has different ways of dealing with events. I know some people who have feeders that can feed and water cats for days and there’s litter boxes. They have no problem leaving their cats for days. I just felt bad for the wife. I wouldn’t be able to leave my wife alone. Yes we’re co-dependent and lean on each other. Especially since we’ve retired. My heart breaks for his wife.

My wife is THE cat lady and I'm quite fond of them myself. I think we all feel bad for her. I wasn't commenting or judging your response Stan. If it felt that my comment landed like that I apologize. Your points are valid. I was simply amplifying the need for diyer2's care as well. I get it. There is a lot to consider. And I agree with you. Every situation is different.

Grumpy Bear · January 30

5 hours ago, diyer2 said:

Wife texted me yesterday evening, picking her up this morning.

Yes, she misses the cats and a lot of other things. The solitude where we live, our food etc.

We agreed I would go to her when needed.

I'm doing OK. Still have some issues.

Glad to hear you both are progressing. This is literally the definition of "None of my business". I hope this can be taken in the vain intended. That I wish you both nothing but good and speedy recoveries. Get some normal back for you guys.