Navigating senior years.

Donstar · June 8, 2025

Pain medication typically does work on the brain and does nothing to fix the problem or prevent it from getting worse. Osteoarthritis is common in older people and can be very painful even in the early stages. More severe levels are bone on bone and can leave you with very limited use of a joint. My shoulder for example only hurts when I use it even with pain medication. My surgeon and GP believe surgery is necessary and will give me an overall better quality of life.

Donstar · June 13, 2025

It is different having time to prepare for surgery. I've only had to recover from unplanned events in the past! My surgery is on Tuesday and I am ready but the long recovery period will test my patience! I am fortunate to have family that will cover my usual responsibilities and a budget that can afford some hired help for the labor There will be a post surgery honeymoon period when the needed attention will be flowing and appreciated. I struggle planning for the stretch of time that follows to at least get back to my current normal! My leisure activities typically require a tool in my hand. One hand already has limited use and the other hand will be in a sling for several weeks. Activities like reading and watching TV only hold my attention for a limited amount of time but I appreciate that these options are available to me. I have a far better understanding of the TV stereotypical senior male character sitting in a recliner barking requests to loved ones! If only I was allowed a fridge full of beer and a box of cigars!

customboss · June 13, 2025

5 minutes ago, Donstar said:

It is different having time to prepare for surgery. I've only had to recover from unplanned events in the past! My surgery is on Tuesday and I am ready but the long recovery period will test my patience! I am fortunate to have family that will cover my usual responsibilities and a budget that can afford some hired help for the labor There will be a post surgery honeymoon period when the needed attention will be flowing and appreciated. I struggle planning for the stretch of time that follows to at least get back to my current normal! My leisure activities typically require a tool in my hand. One hand already has limited use and the other hand will be in a sling for several weeks. Activities like reading and watching TV only hold my attention for a limited amount of time but I appreciate that these options are available to me. I have a far better understanding of the TV stereotypical senior male character sitting in a recliner barking requests to loved ones! If only I was allowed a fridge full of beer and a box of cigars!

Wiping butt can be an often overlooked issue too!

diyer2 · June 13, 2025

I wish you a speedy recovery.

My left shoulder and hand are still not right from Sept. 6th surgery, I'm left handed.

Right hand is showing signs of carpal tunnel.

Been a challenge for a while to do my normal things.

txab · June 14, 2025

15 hours ago, customboss said:

Wiping butt can be an often overlooked issue too!

Bidet time, brother

txab · June 14, 2025

15 hours ago, Donstar said:

It is different having time to prepare for surgery. I've only had to recover from unplanned events in the past! My surgery is on Tuesday and I am ready but the long recovery period will test my patience! I am fortunate to have family that will cover my usual responsibilities and a budget that can afford some hired help for the labor There will be a post surgery honeymoon period when the needed attention will be flowing and appreciated. I struggle planning for the stretch of time that follows to at least get back to my current normal! My leisure activities typically require a tool in my hand. One hand already has limited use and the other hand will be in a sling for several weeks. Activities like reading and watching TV only hold my attention for a limited amount of time but I appreciate that these options are available to me. I have a far better understanding of the TV stereotypical senior male character sitting in a recliner barking requests to loved ones! If only I was allowed a fridge full of beer and a box of cigars!

Best of luck with surgery and rehab! Be praying for ya. Have someone drop us some updates if you're unable

Donstar · June 14, 2025

20 hours ago, customboss said:

Wiping butt can be an often overlooked issue too!

Like diyer2, my dominant arm (left) is the one receiving a new shoulder. My right hand lost significant feeling a couple of years ago. Wiping was the first concern I had when replacement surgery was mentioned. Last fall I replaced a toilet in my house to a raised height model and added a bidet as txab has recommended. Using a bidet was out of my comfort zone but I definitely didn't want to rely on others for assistance in this department! I now use the bidet all of the time and will continue after my shoulder is functional.

Donstar · June 14, 2025

6 hours ago, txab said:

Best of luck with surgery and rehab! Be praying for ya. Have someone drop us some updates if you're unable

Thank you very much! I will write updates

Donstar · June 15, 2025

Happy Father's Day! I learned early in life that Father's Day was not be as popular as Mother's Day. I was lucky to be raised in a home where both parents were loved and respected equally. My wife was raised in a very similar environment and we, in turn, raised our three children to see us as equals. I am proud to be celebrated on "Father's Day" and to have exceptionally fond memories of my Dad. I send my sincerest best wishes to all who celebrate this day!

KARNUT · June 15, 2025

I always believe the mother of the house was a step above. It was astonishing to me that there are groups bent on diminishing that. Being the father of the house I always felt my role was in support of my wife’s raising of our kids. I was the booming voice in the background that wasn’t crossed. Later in my kids life once they had kids they finally understood. The switch was turned on. The same people who diminish the woman’s roll in the family. Are now betraying their daughters in sports and the honor of being a woman. Our greatest gift from God. They give fathers their kids.

Silverado4x4 · June 15, 2025

18 minutes ago, KARNUT said:

I always believe the mother of the house was a step above. It was astonishing to me that there are groups bent on diminishing that. Being the father of the house I always felt my role was in support of my wife’s raising of our kids. I was the booming voice in the background that wasn’t crossed. Later in my kids life once they had kids they finally understood. The switch was turned on. The same people who diminish the woman’s roll in the family. Are now betraying their daughters in sports and the honor of being a woman. Our greatest gift from God. They give fathers their kids.

100% agree with that Stan.

Donstar · June 15, 2025

29 minutes ago, KARNUT said:

I always believe the mother of the house was a step above. It was astonishing to me that there are groups bent on diminishing that. Being the father of the house I always felt my role was in support of my wife’s raising of our kids. I was the booming voice in the background that wasn’t crossed. Later in my kids life once they had kids they finally understood. The switch was turned on. The same people who diminish the woman’s roll in the family. Are now betraying their daughters in sports and the honor of being a woman. Our greatest gift from God. They give fathers their kids.

My post was complimentary to my friends on this forum. Typically the parents role can be quite different. This can be the result of one working for the money and one working at the home. The father and mother role can be quite different but to diminish your role is astonishing to me. I bet if I asked your children who had more significance in their lives, their Dad or Mom, it would be a draw. I also revere women but to promote their superiority or inferiority over men flies in the face of equality for women. Suggesting my comment was betraying daughters in sports or in contradiction of God's gift of life is uncalled for. Enjoy your day and take it seriously when your kids and your wife show their appreciation for all that you've done for the family!

KARNUT · June 15, 2025

40 minutes ago, Donstar said:

My post was complimentary to my friends on this forum. Typically the parents role can be quite different. This can be the result of one working for the money and one working at the home. The father and mother role can be quite different but to diminish your role is astonishing to me. I bet if I asked your children who had more significance in their lives, their Dad or Mom, it would be a draw. I also revere women but to promote their superiority or inferiority over men flies in the face of equality for women. Suggesting my comment was betraying daughters in sports or in contradiction of God's gift of life is uncalled for. Enjoy your day and take it seriously when your kids and your wife show their appreciation for all that you've done for the family!

Lighten up buddy. I didn’t tag your post. My observation is a fact. My wife is one of the gentlest people I know. There’s no way I can equal her or her contribution to our children. That doesn’t diminish my contribution. Equal isn’t always even.

Grumpy Bear · June 16, 2025

I did not get an A in parenting. Doing better as a grandparent. By the time I'm a great (soon) maybe I'll know enough to be allowed to hold them. What I know about it today I learned from a Bible after I failed my children, cause what I learned growing up didn't cut the mustard. Not blaming my parents. They couldn't teach what they didn't know. I failed on every front but bringing home the bacon. Everyone ate well. wore nice clothing and got top drawer educations to 12th grade. But parents are more than disciplinarians and bank accounts. We are the safe place. The moral compass. The instructor. The habit makers and the EXAMPLE by which children should be proud to measure success against. It was my failing to NOT take the spiritual lead and my failing to not delegate properly. To not insist on a united front. Not enforce boundaries.

We each have a role and every role is important. I thought assuring material things and being the last resort in discipline was enough. It wasn't. It wasn't even close. Money and a hammer can't fill a child's, or a wife's, emotional requirements or spiritual need. I have three ex-wives and six angry distant kid's to prove it. I'm a real good example of a bad example. Learn from it....or don't.....

Edited June 16, 2025 by Grumpy Bear

Donstar · June 16, 2025

It was a very nice day yesterday. My kids and grandchildren all live far away but technology had all of them speaking with me and each other. There is some stress in the family because of my surgery tomorrow and it was an a great opportunity to answer and share concerns. The popularity of joint replacement surgery and me being stoic won't stop them from worrying but it was informative to know how my health impacts others. It appears my diligence in following directions from my Physical Therapist will be very closely monitored!