Joke Thread

[MaverickZ71]

Don't hurt me, now . . .

[MaverickZ71]

Follow me for more tech ideas . . .

[MaverickZ71]

Today was my first day working for Walmart as a greeter. 

 

It started out great but then a very mean, nasty, loud-mouthed woman walked into the store with her two kids.

 

She was yelling obscenities at them through the entrance. 

 

Per my greeter training manual, I said very nicely, "Good afternoon and welcome to Walmart. 

 

Nice children you have there, are they twins?"

 

The woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no, they aren't twins. The oldest one is ten and the other one is six. 

 

Why in the hell would you think they are twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?" 

 

I replied, "Ma'am I'm neither blind or stupid.

 

I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. 

 

Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-mart."

 

That's how I got fired.

 

[diyer2]

 

[MaverickZ71]

[MaverickZ71]

Pimpin' ain't easy.

 

[MaverickZ71]

[MaverickZ71]

[MaverickZ71]

[MaverickZ71]

A man walked into a store and told the cashier, "I’d like a hamburger and and a scoop of ice cream." 

The clerk looked at him and said, "Are you an American?"

The man, clearly offended, said, "Well yes I am."

But let me ask you something. 

If I had asked for fried chicken and watermelon, would you ask me if I was black? 

Or if I had asked for a taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? 

The clerk said, "Well, no, I guess not."

"Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I’m an American just because I asked for a hamburger and a scoop of ice cream?"

The clerk replied, "Because this is Home Depot, Mr. President."

[diyer2]

 

[diyer2]

 

[customboss]

More MAGA BS but it made me laugh. 

[diyer2]

 

[diyer2]