Joke Thread

[Grumpy Bear]

3 hours ago, KARNUT said:

Is there a no joke thread? I guess I missed it. My point was we all wonder around most threads original purpose. I think that’s ok. Sometimes a course correction is needed. At least one person thought it was a joke. Something about maga. I always think he’s funny. 

 

LOL I laugh at myself when I keep trying to make myself clear and fail.  Okay, remember this?

 

 

 

I didn't mean there WAS a "No Joke" thread. I meant it isn't a joke as in not funny as in to on the nose. BBBBUUUTTTT not directed AT anyone other than the cut and pasted quotation. How am I doing?  

[KARNUT]

5 minutes ago, Grumpy Bear said:

 

LOL I laugh at myself when I keep trying to make myself clear and fail.  Okay, remember this?

 

 

 

I didn't mean there WAS a "No Joke" thread. I meant it isn't a joke as in not funny as in to on the nose. BBBBUUUTTTT not directed AT anyone other than the cut and pasted quotation. How am I doing?  

Actually I didn’t see it until after the first comment. Taking as a whole I thought it was funny. Well even without the first comment I thought it was funny. Then again I probably was affected by the first comment. Well hell, never mind. 

[MaverickZ71]

My wife went to jail last night and she didn't take it very well. She threw things, cussed, spat and even peed on herself a little.
That's the last time I'm playing monopoly with her!

[diyer2]

 

[txab]

[txab]

[txab]

[MaverickZ71]

[MaverickZ71]

When I graduated from high school, my very first job was at the zoo. One morning, right before we opened, the only gorilla we had, died from old age.

 

The gorilla was one of their most popular attractions by far and they couldn't afford to go without one. 

 

So, the zoo owner asked me if I'd wear a gorilla suit for an extra $100 a day, if I'd pretend to be the gorilla, until the zoo could get another one.

 

I said, “Sure why not.” A $100 dollars extra a day was a lot of money back then. 

 

It didn't take long for me to get the hang of it and I quickly became the most popular attraction at the zoo. 

 

People from all over the world came to see the gorilla. 

 

About a month in, the excitement started to wear off. So, to get the people's attention back, I decided to climb over the enclosure and hang from a rope above the lions' den.

 

A large crowd of people gathered watching the spectacle in shock and awe. 

 

Suddenly, I lost my grip and fell to the floor of the lion's den. I started screaming "HELP!! HELP!!!"

 

Suddenly, a lion pounced on me and said, "SHUT-UP dude, you're going to get both of us fired!” 

[MaverickZ71]

I've been working on being less condescending. That means to talk down to people. 

[Grumpy Bear]

A priest a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar. 

Bartender asks the rabbit, "What'll ya have". 

Rabbit says, "I dunno, I'm only here because of Autocorrect." 

[MaverickZ71]

[MaverickZ71]

[diyer2]

 

[MaverickZ71]

Humanity is losing its geniuses. 

Aristotle died, 

Newton passed away, 

Einstein died...

 

....and I'm not feeling well today either.