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diyer2

By diyer2
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MaverickZ71 Senior Enthusiast

MaverickZ71

Posted
Posted

Earlier this morning my wife asked, "Can you please go to the store and buy a carton of milk and if they have eggs, get six. 

 

I did as she asked, I returned home a short while later with six cartons of milk.

 

She said, "Why in the hell did you buy six cartons of milk? 

 

I said, "They had eggs."

🤷

 

Now I'm in trouble.

  • Haha 1
MaverickZ71 Senior Enthusiast

MaverickZ71

Posted
Posted

An explosion last week killed a wild-living navy boiler man, and he found himself in hell... 

Being used to stoking fires, and extremely hot temperatures, he found hell actually quite comfortable.

When Satan went to check out the new arrival, he found him sitting in his room smiling... 

"You like this?" Satan asked.

"Yes sir," said the sailor, "this feels like a spring day to me."

Not wanting the new guy to be too comfortable, Satan turned up the heat a bit.

When he went back the next day to see how his new arrival was doing, the sailor was still happy... 

He hadn't even broken a sweat!

"I like this kind of weather," he told Satan.

For the next few days, Satan turned up the heat more and more, but each day the Sailor looked as comfortable as ever.

By Sunday, Satan decided to try something different... 

Rather than turn up the heat even more, he turned it off, and turned on the air conditioning.

Icicles formed in the sailor's room!

When he checked on the guy, the room was icy and he was shivering, but he had a grin from ear to ear, bigger than ever!

Satan was exasperated!

"Why are YOU so happy?" he demanded from the sailor.

"It's FREEZING in here!"

"Well, I'm from Dallas" said the sailor... 

"And evidently the Cowboys just won the Super Bowl!"

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  • Haha 1
MaverickZ71 Senior Enthusiast

MaverickZ71

Posted
Posted (edited)

I recently visited the Canary Islands.

Turns out, there are no canaries on the Canary Islands.

Same as with the Virgin Islands.

No canaries there either.

Edited by MaverickZ71
  • Haha 2
MaverickZ71 Senior Enthusiast

MaverickZ71

Posted
Posted

Last night around bedtime my wife's phone rang.

I answered it, then said, "I believe you have the wrong number. You'll need to call the weather number for that information."

My wife said, "Who was that?"
I said, "Some guy wanting to know if the coast was clear."

  • Haha 1
Grumpy Bear Senior Enthusiast

Grumpy Bear

Posted
Posted
54 minutes ago, MaverickZ71 said:

Especially with the headlight dimmer switch on the floor below the emergency brake. 

 

20240826_150341.jpg.70115484d37042bc230aad23c2334c30.jpg

 

If it's on the tree it's where I started 😉 

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