Joke Thread

[MaverickZ71]

X WIFE. 

 

[MaverickZ71]

The other day I asked a girl in the library, "Do you mind if I sit by you?"

The girl answered with a loud voice, "I don't want to spend the night with you!!"

Everyone in the library started staring at me and I was embarrassed. 

After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to my table and told me, "I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed, right?"

I responded with a loud voice, "$300.00 for just one night? That's too much!!"

Everyone inside the library looked at the girl in shock and then I whispered in her ear, "I study law and I know how to make someone feel guilty.”

[customboss]

[MaverickZ71]

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down. 

Edited September 3, 2024 by MaverickZ71

[txab]

[MaverickZ71]

The worst thing about snoring is that everyone in church knows you fell asleep. 

[MaverickZ71]

[MaverickZ71]

 

[MaverickZ71]

[customboss]

WOOD I …..WOOD U 

 

[diyer2]

 

[MaverickZ71]

[MaverickZ71]

Jesus, Moses, and an old man went golfing.

The first one to tee off was Moses. He smashed the ball and it headed right for the water before the green. Moses raised his club, the water parted and the ball made it to the green.

 

Jesus took a swing and it headed for the same water hazard. Jesus closed his eyes and prayed. The ball skipped across the water and landed on the green two feet from the hole.

 

Now it was the old man's turn. He hit the ball as hard as he could but it looked like the ball was going to drop directly into the water. A fish jumped from the water swallowing the ball just as an eagle dropped from the sky, grabbing the fish. As the eagle flew over the green, a bolt of lightning struck the eagle, making it drop the fish. As the fish hit the green, it spit the ball out of his mouth and the ball went into the hole, for a hole in one. Jesus looked at Moses and said, "I think I'm leaving Father at home next time!”

[MaverickZ71]

[MaverickZ71]

Who else wants to see the Lions vs Packers games determine ownership of this?: