Joke Thread

[txab]

29 minutes ago, KARNUT said:

I know why. Enjoy LA LA land. I’ve spoken my last time to you. 

Oh Stan, cool your jets. Don't take your toys and go home. You don't have to agree with everybody and everybody doesn't have to agree with you

[txab]

[KARNUT]

3 minutes ago, txab said:

Oh Stan, cool your jets. Don't take your toys and go home. You don't have to agree with everybody and everybody doesn't have to agree with you

My jets are just fine. It has to do with respect. I disagree with Grumpy all the time rationally. Some people are just plain disrespectful. I don’t have to communicate with them. And I won’t. If that gets me banned, so be it. 

[txab]

Nobody mentioned banning your a ss. So just drop that

[MaverickZ71]

I was at Walmart, scanning and bagging nearly $300 worth of groceries, while the employee who wants $15 an hour "monitored" me. Then this happened:

Her: Why are you double-bagging all your groceries?
Me: Excuse me?
Her: You're wasting our bags!
Me: If you don’t like how I’m bagging, feel free to come over and do it yourself.
Her: That’s not my job!
Me: Okay, then I’ll bag my groceries however I please.
Her: Why are you using two bags?!
Me: Because the bags are weak, and I don’t want the handles to break or the bottom to rip.
Her: That’s because you’re putting too much in one bag. If you took half out and used a separate bag, you wouldn’t need to double-bag.

Cue 10 seconds of me just staring at her.

Me: So, you want me to split these items in half and put them in two separate bags instead of double-bagging?
Her: Exactly.
Me: So I’d still be using two bags for the same number of items.
Her: No, because you wouldn’t be double-bagging.

Me pressing two fingers to my left eye, trying to stop it from twitching.

Me: Okay, so here’s a jug of milk and a bottle of juice, double-bagged. If I take the milk out, remove the extra bag, and put the milk in one bag and the juice in another, I’m still using two bags for two items.
Her: No, because you're not double-bagging them—it’s not the same number of bags.

Me looking around at about 10 other customers, all enjoying the show.

Me: Is this that Common Core math I keep hearing about?
Her: Never mind, you just don’t get it.

And with that, she went back to her little podium to continue texting, playing games, or whatever she was doing before deciding to critique my bagging skills.
 

[Grumpy Bear]

9 minutes ago, MaverickZ71 said:

I was at Walmart, scanning and bagging nearly $300 worth of groceries, while the employee who wants $15 an hour "monitored" me. Then this happened:

Her: Why are you double-bagging all your groceries?
Me: Excuse me?
Her: You're wasting our bags!
Me: If you don’t like how I’m bagging, feel free to come over and do it yourself.
Her: That’s not my job!
Me: Okay, then I’ll bag my groceries however I please.
Her: Why are you using two bags?!
Me: Because the bags are weak, and I don’t want the handles to break or the bottom to rip.
Her: That’s because you’re putting too much in one bag. If you took half out and used a separate bag, you wouldn’t need to double-bag.

Cue 10 seconds of me just staring at her.

Me: So, you want me to split these items in half and put them in two separate bags instead of double-bagging?
Her: Exactly.
Me: So I’d still be using two bags for the same number of items.
Her: No, because you wouldn’t be double-bagging.

Me pressing two fingers to my left eye, trying to stop it from twitching.

Me: Okay, so here’s a jug of milk and a bottle of juice, double-bagged. If I take the milk out, remove the extra bag, and put the milk in one bag and the juice in another, I’m still using two bags for two items.
Her: No, because you're not double-bagging them—it’s not the same number of bags.

Me looking around at about 10 other customers, all enjoying the show.

Me: Is this that Common Core math I keep hearing about?
Her: Never mind, you just don’t get it.

And with that, she went back to her little podium to continue texting, playing games, or whatever she was doing before deciding to critique my bagging skills.
 

 

THIS is why Politics & Religion as topics on their face, are dangerous. The rational brain isn't wired to process the irrational and gets angry and the irrational brain isn't wired at all and gets hurt.

 

Now there's the makings of a Molotov Cocktail. Anyone got a match? 

 

[customboss]

4 minutes ago, Grumpy Bear said:

 

THIS is why Politics & Religion as topics on their face, are dangerous. The rational brain isn't wired to process the irrational and gets angry and the irrational brain isn't wired at all and gets hurt.

 

Now there's the makings of a Molotov Cocktail. Anyone got a match? 

 

Add human Ego and there’s your bomb. 

[customboss]

23 minutes ago, MaverickZ71 said:

I was at Walmart, scanning and bagging nearly $300 worth of groceries, while the employee who wants $15 an hour "monitored" me. Then this happened:

Her: Why are you double-bagging all your groceries?
Me: Excuse me?
Her: You're wasting our bags!
Me: If you don’t like how I’m bagging, feel free to come over and do it yourself.
Her: That’s not my job!
Me: Okay, then I’ll bag my groceries however I please.
Her: Why are you using two bags?!
Me: Because the bags are weak, and I don’t want the handles to break or the bottom to rip.
Her: That’s because you’re putting too much in one bag. If you took half out and used a separate bag, you wouldn’t need to double-bag.

Cue 10 seconds of me just staring at her.

Me: So, you want me to split these items in half and put them in two separate bags instead of double-bagging?
Her: Exactly.
Me: So I’d still be using two bags for the same number of items.
Her: No, because you wouldn’t be double-bagging.

Me pressing two fingers to my left eye, trying to stop it from twitching.

Me: Okay, so here’s a jug of milk and a bottle of juice, double-bagged. If I take the milk out, remove the extra bag, and put the milk in one bag and the juice in another, I’m still using two bags for two items.
Her: No, because you're not double-bagging them—it’s not the same number of bags.

Me looking around at about 10 other customers, all enjoying the show.

Me: Is this that Common Core math I keep hearing about?
Her: Never mind, you just don’t get it.

And with that, she went back to her little podium to continue texting, playing games, or whatever she was doing before deciding to critique my bagging skills.
 

BTW here in crystal blue Colorado, plastic and paper bags cost ya .10 cents a piece so we bring reusable ones. The wildlife and fish are happier. I notice in 3 years less trash on roads etc. 

[Grumpy Bear]

13 minutes ago, customboss said:

Add human Ego and there’s your bomb. 

 

I knew someone had a match 

[MaverickZ71]

"You don't have to agree with everybody and everybody doesn't have to agree with you"

 

AFTER 2+ YEARS, THE FINALLY AGREES WITH US!

 

 

Note from mod: (Can't use the "R"word". That's one that is frowned on)

Edited February 5, 2025 by txab
Removed for being offensive

[customboss]

46 minutes ago, MaverickZ71 said:

"You don't have to agree with everybody and everybody doesn't have to agree with you"

 

AFTER 2+ YEARS, THE FINALLY AGREES WITH US!

 

IN THAT CASE:

 

@txab isn’t a clown. 

[txab]

29 minutes ago, customboss said:

@txab isn’t a clown. 

No but my avatar is. 

 

[customboss]

3 minutes ago, txab said:

No but my avatar is. 

 

Thought that was a Horror movie meme!  

[txab]

Guess it is, but it's still a clown face. He's holding an AK or an AR, iirc. But had to crop it out

[KARNUT]

1 minute ago, txab said:

Guess it is, but it's still a clown face. He's holding an AK or an AR, iirc. But had to crop it out

A perfect example of jumping to a conclusion. When the answer is full view.