Navigating senior years.

Donstar · May 22, 2024

We occasionally sell treasures on marketplace. Many such items have strong memories attached for us but meaningless to other family members. We sell such items to simplify our surroundings not to make money. The prices we ask reflect this. On Monday we had a lady come by to buy an item and she offered us double our asking price. She said we're asking too low of a price and wouldn't feel right paying that amount. She still got something she really wanted for a good price. What a contrast to some of the bargain hunters we've encountered!

KARNUT · May 22, 2024

32 minutes ago, Donstar said:

We occasionally sell treasures on marketplace. Many such items have strong memories attached for us but meaningless to other family members. We sell such items to simplify our surroundings not to make money. The prices we ask reflect this. On Monday we had a lady come by to buy an item and she offered us double our asking price. She said we're asking too low of a price and wouldn't feel right paying that amount. She still got something she really wanted for a good price. What a contrast to some of the bargain hunters we've encountered!

I’ve done the same. Yesterday we went to Denny’s. We split moons over my hammy. My wife was a server many years ago. So she feels for servers. She always tips high. The server was appreciative. She explained the younger generation doesn’t tip. Now I understand why some places when you use your card it has tip suggestions. She says groups are the worse. I told her most places add tips to groups to eliminate guess work. She actually only has work at Dennys. She wasn’t a spring chicken. I can picture her over the years living in her bubble. Working resting raising a family, rinse repeat. Reminds me just how lucky I am to have a life partner.

Grumpy Bear · May 22, 2024

1 hour ago, Donstar said:

We occasionally sell treasures on marketplace. Many such items have strong memories attached for us but meaningless to other family members. We sell such items to simplify our surroundings not to make money. The prices we ask reflect this. On Monday we had a lady come by to buy an item and she offered us double our asking price. She said we're asking too low of a price and wouldn't feel right paying that amount. She still got something she really wanted for a good price. What a contrast to some of the bargain hunters we've encountered!

When dad got remarried, after mother died, his new wife had a large yard sale of her items. Among them was mom's collection of ceramic cookie jars. A collection she started from youth during the depression. A few of them were collectors worth a few thousand each. They sold for fifty cents. It's hard to know a things value to another. But simple is good.

There is much beauty in simple things well refined by love and tattooed by experience. My most valuable things are not possessions but memories. I don't take many pictures when I travel. I hold the scene forever sharp in the gray vault. They will pass with me. If it was really important, I shared it in the moment with the person with me so we could lock it away together; away from profiteers and the ambivalent.

Donstar · May 30, 2024

I just did an overnight sleep study at a clinic. It was an experience that I wasn't looking forward to and I'm glad it's done. I kept thinking this is overkill for the information they were looking for and there should be an app to replace such an awkward procedure! The day after this experience I get to see my urologist for my regular prostate check. Now that is something that we won't be seeing an app to retrieve this digital information!

KARNUT · May 30, 2024

33 minutes ago, Donstar said:

I just did an overnight sleep study at a clinic. It was an experience that I wasn't looking forward to and I'm glad it's done. I kept thinking this is overkill for the information they were looking for and there should be an app to replace such an awkward procedure! The day after this experience I get to see my urologist for my regular prostate check. Now that is something that we won't be seeing an app to retrieve this digital information!

My wife was in Human Resources for 10 years at a large rehabilitation hospital. A family friend was a secretary at the same. Doctors like to recommend these sometimes invasive test for people as a matter of course. Even without any family history like there’s no potential for adverse effects. Accidents happen chose your test wisely. My wife has been living with a mistake for ten years. No not me, that’s fifty. Monthly visits to physical therapy forever is our future. After 5 years of yearly corrective surgery. Just don’t blindly follow the doctor. Remain skeptical.

customboss · May 30, 2024

45 minutes ago, Donstar said:

I just did an overnight sleep study at a clinic. It was an experience that I wasn't looking forward to and I'm glad it's done. I kept thinking this is overkill for the information they were looking for and there should be an app to replace such an awkward procedure! The day after this experience I get to see my urologist for my regular prostate check. Now that is something that we won't be seeing an app to retrieve this digital information!

There is a finger sensor the VA provided in home since we live at 9000 feet elevation. Was very accurate. Medicare had my lady do it at 7500 feet in Alamosa CO. Don’t think that was as accurate and she had alot of trouble sleeping there.

txab · May 30, 2024

52 minutes ago, Donstar said:

I just did an overnight sleep study at a clinic. It was an experience that I wasn't looking forward to and I'm glad it's done. I kept thinking this is overkill for the information they were looking for and there should be an app to replace such an awkward procedure! The day after this experience I get to see my urologist for my regular prostate check. Now that is something that we won't be seeing an app to retrieve this digital information!

There is a way of doing a sleep study/test at home. I just it's done, not sure how it all works. I'd choose that method. I can guarantee you I'd never sleep in some "lab" bed. Nowadays I have trouble sleeping in new beds on trips. First night is little sleep since it's not my bed. If I'm really worn out, I'll sleep better. Strange after years and years of sleeping anywhere, on or in anything, I did pretty well in those situations. All the years with KBR & Halliburton, over in the middle east..... you had to sleep in some bad situations with ****** flying through the air

KARNUT · May 30, 2024

2 minutes ago, txab said:

There is a way of doing a sleep study/test at home. I just it's done, not sure how it all works. I'd choose that method. I can guarantee you I'd never sleep in some "lab" bed. Nowadays I have trouble sleeping in new beds on trips. First night is little sleep since it's not my bed. If I'm really worn out, I'll sleep better. Strange after years and years of sleeping anywhere, on or in anything, I did pretty well in those situations. All the years with KBR & Halliburton, over in the middle east..... you had to sleep in some bad situations with ****** flying through the air

Before my father’s business prospered four of us kids shared a bedroom . No door wide open. Raising my kids there was no special noise reduction or black out conditions for them to sleep. Non of us have trouble sleeping. Every night I remember only one roll over. 5 minutes max. I wonder if that’s the reason.

Donstar · May 31, 2024

19 hours ago, txab said:

There is a way of doing a sleep study/test at home. I just it's done, not sure how it all works. I'd choose that method. I can guarantee you I'd never sleep in some "lab" bed. Nowadays I have trouble sleeping in new beds on trips. First night is little sleep since it's not my bed. If I'm really worn out, I'll sleep better. Strange after years and years of sleeping anywhere, on or in anything, I did pretty well in those situations. All the years with KBR & Halliburton, over in the middle east..... you had to sleep in some bad situations with ****** flying through the air

I tried to go with the home test but it wasn't approved for my situation. The home version is limited in its ability to diagnose less common sleep issues. I was extremely upset by the prospect of participating and delayed for as long as I could! My Doctor and a friend on this forum were key in convincing me to follow through with the lab experience. My advice to others will be to participate if your Doctor prescribes the in-clinic test. It will be out of your comfort zone and the staff at the sleep clinic know this. Their job is to provide a successful test environment and you will sleep. Take a tour of the facility prior to your stay and follow the instructions provided for preparing for the overnight study. In my case, I followed their instructions, took a tour, and went prepared for a sleepless night. On the night of the test, I guess 15 + or - minutes lapsed between lights out and dreamland. If any member is facing such a test and are losing sleep over the idea, you aren't alone. I will be happy to give more detail on how and why I was so adamant that an in-clinic sleep study wouldn't work!

Donstar · June 9, 2024

There is an advertisement on the radio about a legal company wanting to help you if you believe your parents were unfair to you in their will. This prompted my wife and I to update our wills to make sure our wishes will be met and that our children don't create problems for each other after we're gone. I am very, very glad we did! If you haven't recently sat down with a lawyer and made a will, you should. You might be surprised with how easily your wishes can be successfully challenged!

Grumpy Bear · June 9, 2024

1 minute ago, Donstar said:

There is an advertisement on the radio about a legal company wanting to help you if you believe your parents were unfair to you in their will. This prompted my wife and I to update our wills to make sure our wishes will be met and that our children don't create problems for each other after we're gone. I am very, very glad we did! If you haven't recently sat down with a lawyer and made a will, you should. You might be surprised with how easily your wishes can be successfully challenged!

Don't know the Canadian rules but wife and I did a Trust in leu of a Will. Much harder to challenge, break, sue or attach.

KARNUT · June 9, 2024

14 minutes ago, Grumpy Bear said:

Don't know the Canadian rules but wife and I did a Trust in leu of a Will. Much harder to challenge, break, sue or attach.

My wife is executor on her father’s will. To avoid probate state clearly how you want your property dispersed down to your checking account. Everything will flow smoothly.

Ianf · June 10, 2024

17 hours ago, Donstar said:

There is an advertisement on the radio about a legal company wanting to help you if you believe your parents were unfair to you in their will. This prompted my wife and I to update our wills to make sure our wishes will be met and that our children don't create problems for each other after we're gone. I am very, very glad we did! If you haven't recently sat down with a lawyer and made a will, you should. You might be surprised with how easily your wishes can be successfully challenged!

You must be in BC, their family law reform act is really bad. I am in Ontario and ours is almost as bad but a good will is important and so is the lawyer that writes it. Having been the executor and trustee and Power of Attorney over many peoples affairs over the years gas taught me a lot. More important than the spouse's or family member's will is their power of attorney. two required in Ontario, one for personal care and one for all other matters (financial and legal). Without these properly in place, the province can step in and charge huge fees to manage guardianship. The fees can be as high as 10% of assets and 30% of income.

Donstar · June 10, 2024

I do live in B.C. and I'm sure our strict laws governing wills have some justification. My wife and/or I were executors for our parents and a couple of other family members. We've encountered some upset but no legal challenges. I will say that these challenges were quite unpleasant and thankfully the wills were properly done. I know laws vary but the TV version of the shock and surprises of a will should be avoided. Technically, our wills could be contested if we divide our assets evenly between our children, or give them differing amounts, or give our assets to another person/organization/charity!

Grumpy Bear · June 10, 2024

12 minutes ago, Donstar said:

I do live in B.C. and I'm sure our strict laws governing wills have some justification. My wife and/or I were executors for our parents and a couple of other family members. We've encountered some upset but no legal challenges. I will say that these challenges were quite unpleasant and thankfully the wills were properly done. I know laws vary but the TV version of the shock and surprises of a will should be avoided. Technically, our wills could be contested if we divide our assets evenly between our children, or give them differing amounts, or give our assets to another person/organization/charity!

One of many areas a Trust differs. It just is what we say it is. Glad, sad or mad, they get what they get.

Another area of protection is in attachments. In Illinois, for instance, the state will aid you in a nursing home but not until you have used all your resources down to something like fifteen hundred dollars. In a Trust the Trust is an entity in and of itself five years after it has been established. The protection is for the holder. That is, we can use the money in the trust to supplement our care instead of being the source of our care or chose not to. You don't lose your home, possessions or the kids their inheritance. You can use the money, if you wish, in addition to the state aid to improve your situation or pay for a procedure the state will not. When you both have passed the Trust is split into as many Trusts as you have assigned under whatever conditions you have set. The assets are the property of the Trust, not the person.