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Trying to drop a groaner at work

HeySkippyDog

By HeySkippyDog
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diyer2 Senior Enthusiast

diyer2

Posted
Posted

People will do many things if they think they can get away with it.

From this to murder.

:)

 

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StinkyCheese Senior Enthusiast

StinkyCheese

Posted
Posted
13 hours ago, CadillacLuke24 said:

I was laughing so hard I was in tears. You guys are a freakin' riot!

 

For those of you doubting the possibility of these occurrences, I once had to clean up a coffee mug filled with crap. In the Sporting Goods department of a Kmart. 

 

People are rotten. Sad but true. So very very very true. 

Oh we're going outside the bathroom?  Alright one time a guy couldn't make it to the bathroom (they're upstairs and sometimes a bit of a walk) so he just went in the stairwell.  My buddy was loading a 53' and the walls were covered in poo.  Another time someone I guess couldn't hold it either so they dropped the kids off in a tote box, put another tote on top of it.  Apparently that area smelled for a week or two until someone found it.  Worst thing I've done is I had an upset stomach from some pizza and I turned around while working to talk to my buddy and said one or two words and ended up puking lol.  Turned right back around and kept working.  That old turd still brings that up every time we have pizza at work, which if the "company" buys us anything that's what it is 99% of the time on that shift.

  • 3 weeks later...
CadillacLuke24 Enthusiast

CadillacLuke24

Posted
Posted
On 9/22/2019 at 7:52 AM, txab said:

By "clean up", I hope you meant "throw away".

Oh yeah. Gingerly peeled the barcode off the unscathed bottom, hermetically sealed that biohazard in two grocery bags, and hucked it in the dumpster out back.

  • 3 weeks later...
dieselfan1 Senior Enthusiast

dieselfan1

Posted
Posted

Great a thread about sh***ing.????

Working in construction almost 40 years I've seen some nasty ass shi**ers. I've shit in boxes, buckets , paint cans, bags , you name it.

A few years ago I was taking some oxycodones for my back.

I didn't shit for a few days. Finally I took some miralax to get some action .

Next day I'm on a big apartment job big bldg  150 guys working there. There was 3 shi**ers outside the door and 

10 am and I got to shit now. Not ten minutes from now.

I go to shi**er # 1 no paper 

Same with #2 and #3. I'm panicking now. I couldn't wait no longer.

Boom at least I  didnt sh** my pants. It was like pulling the plug on an RV. What a mess.

I had to use my undies to wipe my ass. Commado the rest of the day. Couldn't wait to get home and shower.

That's one of my shit stories.

I have many.?

 

 

 

HeySkippyDog Senior Enthusiast

HeySkippyDog

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I have sh** my pants recently, as in within the last year. I like apple juice to the point where it sometimes makes my bowels explode. There was no warning. Just intense shart cramps, 150 PSI at my butthole, and trying to contain that pressure while walking is impossible. I lost the fight. It blew upwards out of my waistband in the back, and down the legs of my jeans.

It cost me a pair jeans and a belt.

Sent from my SM-J810F using Tapatalk
 

dieselfan1 Senior Enthusiast

dieselfan1

Posted
Posted

The older I get the less warning. Also don't trust a fart.

Even them little sqeakers are dangerous.

I don't gamble like I used to.

dieselfan1 Senior Enthusiast

dieselfan1

Posted
Posted

My wife had a little accident in the can at Dennys once years ago. We still remind her of that.?

HeySkippyDog Senior Enthusiast

HeySkippyDog

Posted
  • Author
Posted
My wife had a little accident in the can at Dennys once years ago. We still remind her of that.[emoji38]

Did she not get her drawers down in time? Lol. Denny's makes me instantly power-duke on-site.

 

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dieselfan1 Senior Enthusiast

dieselfan1

Posted
Posted

She walked away unscathed but the bathroom had some poop on the floor. Maybe a little on the wall too. ?

She was wearing a dress so draw your own picture.

We still go there and have a laugh about it especially if she has to go the bathroom ?.

dieselfan1 Senior Enthusiast

dieselfan1

Posted
Posted

Once in while I text my wife this out of the blue .

Sometimes I'll get a laugh out of her. Not always though

1200px-Denny's_logo.svg.png

HeySkippyDog Senior Enthusiast

HeySkippyDog

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Back in 2012, I dated this girl who was adamant that farting was unnecessary, and that she NEVER farted. So because she always gave me such grief over a booty burp, I told her if she ever farted in front of me, I'd make sure she never forgot.

Well, one 4th of July at my parents house, she got tanked and was throwing up in the toilet. I was there to help her out, being the nice guy I am.

She started squirming and writhing around on the floor, when suddenly...

*BOW WOWOW WOW*

Loudest fart I ever heard in my life.

Their house is mostly tile, so it echoed all the way to the living room and my friend said "Nice fart, dude!"

She told me never to correct them and say it wasn't me.

That lasted about 3 days.

My ex brother-in-law made a song about it that still exists on Soundcloud.

https://m.soundcloud.com/andrew-johnson-132/she-farted

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